It’s all right, ’cause I’m…

Ah, the glory days

Ah, the glory days

I admit it: I got sucked into watching The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story on Lifetime this weekend. Yes, I tuned into Lifetime and got a look at what life was like behind the scenes of the SBTB set, at least according to Screech, errrr, Dustin.

To say this was a giddily-enjoyed guilty pleasure is an understatement. I sat perched on my couch with a glass of Skinny Girl peach margarita and soaked up every minute of the flash back to the 90s. The 90s…the good ol’ days. The 90’s…when Mark Paul Gosselar rocked big blond hair and dark caterpillar eyebrows.

The definition of cool. Girls swooned everywhere.

The definition of cool. Girls swooned everywhere.

This marvel of a made-for-TV movie got me thinking…where would the gang from Bayside be today? Not the actors, since obviously we know what they’ve all been up to, but the characters.

The next made-for-TV movie needs to be the Bayside 25-year high school reunion.

SBTB zack and slater


But until then, here’s a stab at what our favorite Bayside characters might be doing:

Zack Morris – After abandoning his career as a world-famous musician, Zach abandoned all notions of fame and focused on fortune instead. In 2014, he’s a hugely successful executive at an investment firm, which is likely a sophisticated pyramid scheme.

Lisa Turtle – After launching her very successful clothing line, Lisa invented the “one and done” wardrobe, popularized by chains such as Forever 21 and H&M today. Her clothing line remains popular around the world, and she has a reality show on Bravo: Turtle Will Travel.

AC Slater – After getting fired from his job as a high-school gym teacher for allegations of inappropriate interactions with the school’s female students, Slater became the star of the first season of The Real House Husbands of Bayside.

Kelly Kapowski – After graduating college, Kelly went on to become a successful pharmaceutical sales rep. She’s a pro at making sales by oh-so-subtly promoting their off-label uses. Tired of a life on the road and good looks deteriorating in middle age, she’s looking to go in-house at one of the pharma giants as a sales trainer.

Jessie Spano – Is anyone surprised that Jessie ended up graduating from Harvard Law and becoming a civil rights attorney? She cut off her signature curls so that she’d “be taken more seriously as a woman in a male-dominated field” and spends her free time volunteering for Amnesty International. She’s in a long-term relationship with an inmate at Bayside Federal.

Screech – You may have seen Screech in the opening rounds of several World Series of Poker tournaments. He doesn’t often make it past the first round, but he remains somewhat of a crowd favorite.

Say what?!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s